"I Have a Whole Armada of Ships That No One Approves Of"

After a recent discussion with a friend of mine (or series of discussion; she and I butt heads often) I have come to realize that many of my "ships" (relationships, for those of you not in the know. A fandom term. A better definition here) are not universally accepted. In fact, only a few of them are actually liked. Perhaps if I give you a list and a description of each, you'll understand.

First fandom: Sherlock
I ship the requisite Johnlock, I mean, how can you not? The ship fuels itself, but I also ship Sherlock/Moriarty, which is one that not many people ship. I find this a bit sad, because they are clearly made for each other. But perhaps the reason I ship it is because I enjoy mutually-destructive relationships. I mean, what good can really come from have a high-functioning sociopath and high-functioning psychopath in a relationship together? Probably nothing, but some really good fights.

"Nemesis" by Montya on DeviantArt

Fandom: Marvel/Avengers
This is the one my friend and I fight about often. She ships Steve/Tony big time, and I just can't get it. I feel like Steve is just too All-American boy scout to be gay, even for Tony. However, I personally ship Tony/Loki. I mean seriously, think about it. Tony is a manipulative, charming playboy who feels that no one is really worth his time, and Loki is a hot-headed god who also feels that no one is worth his time. When they meet each other, they've both just found the one person who doesn't kowtow to them based on reputation alone. Neither one really respects the other, and so their competitive nature comes out. When Loki finds someone who doesn't grovel he feels the need to break them, but Tony won't be broken, and vice versa. I feel that this relationship is actually a good one, because they come in as equals who don't respect each other, and over time they do. So basically Tony/Loki for the win.

FrostIron - Morning Sunshine by AlexZoe on DeviantArt

"Tony x Loki" by Cheezah on DeviantArt

Fandom: Supernatural
Here's the big one. I ship Wincest really hard. And I know that after the frist season came out, it was the biggest ship in the fandom, but seriously, who actually ships two brothers together (other than those weirdos who ship Thor/Loki. I just can't)? But I do, and it's the one ship that I pour the most time into. As one Tumblrer put it, "you start to ship Wincest, but you don't really think about it, and then Wincest comes in and takes over your life." And it really does. I used to be the world's biggest Johnlock shipper, until I got into Supernatural, and now all of my other ships are on the back burner because of Wincest. I write, I draw, I read... all Wincest. I haven't actually read a different slash pairing fanfic in months. Mmm, Wincest. Or as I like to put it:
Friend: "Remember, gay porn over incest!"
Me: "Or both, since I ship Wincest!"
Friend: "..."

"SPN+ Chaste kiss" by Leyla-Lovely on DeviantArt

At any rate, there are planty of ships I sail that others approve of, and so I won't be stopped by just a few "haters." So ship who you want and ship who you like, because... it makes you feel good (I just wanted to use those Nicki Minaj lines.)

Don't ever stop shipping!

Tanner Foust and my inability to flirt

As a follow up to my earlier post about Tanner Foust, here are some shots of the lovely man himself, looking pensive and serious, shot in very deep black and white. Because that's the one adjective you can clearly apply to him. Deep. Or at least you can apply it to me. 

And an adorable Instagram picture he tweeted. Why is he so cute?

I won't apologize for my complete lack of shame. I'm not sorry. But look at me. Look at my life, look at my choices. Maybe he'll stop by Firebird Raceway sometime soon and I can abduct him meet him. That would be nice. He'll be charmed by me and my coquettish ways. I'll bat my eyelashes and twirl my fan around and maybe let him get a peek at my ankles. Because I can't flirt. If I lived in a Jane Austen novel or it was the early 1900's, I might be able to snag a man. Unfortunately I am not, and a woman's ability to catch a husband no longer rests with her ability to dance, smile and, in my opinion most importantly, have a good grasp of society, art, music, and the running of a large estate. 

Now, and even then, it's based on whether or not her boobs look good shoved nearly up her nostrils. But unlike then, a woman is found attractive if she isn't as smart. No longer is emphasis placed on knowledge. Glittering generalities, or do those awful blonde jokes have a grain of truth to them?

My argument is bolstered by the my father. Every once in a while when I'm creeping on the popular chicks in my school on Facebook (never in person), he'll pop up behind me and make awkward comments like "oh, she's cute." When I lament the fact that God is unfair and despite her having a small waist and a pair of 36Ds, she's as dumb as a post, Dad goes, "no, no, that's all right. Dumb is good." I give him my best "shocked and appalled" face, but he won't be chastised by me. 

My observations are also helped along by the amount of teen relationships in my school. Dare we notice who they are all between? The cliche jock and cheerleader/dancer? No! Say it isn't so! The hot guy, who himself is low on the brain wattage, picks the dyed blonde who wear his two favorite colors, short and tight? She laughs at all of his horrendously awful jokes and constantly tells him "I love you, baby, you're my everything." Oh horror! It's true!

Ergo, the best way for me to pick up dudes is to do a complete 180 on my personality and appearance. 

Thankfully for me and the rest of the downtrodden female population, deliverance is upon us. We just need more mature men! So far my mother's wise words have been repeated by such reputable sources as Jim Belushi and my best friend's parents. Men don't mentally mature past 8 years of age until they hit about 35-45 years old. Sad, but true. 

However my baby Tanner Foust is 38 years old (June 13, 1973, if anybody cares), so I think that he and I will get along perfectly. I'd better work on my giggle though.