Showing posts with label My life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My life. Show all posts

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It's Valentine's Day!

The number of cheesy teddy bears, ugly balloons, and cheap chocolate I've seen and school has only just started. Ah yes, the bitter perfume of jealous, I wear it well, don't I? But really, I think my favorite part of Valentine's Day is remembering the real story of St. Valentine, looking at all these dumb boys who spent too much money on nothing, and being single and bitter. At least I can burn calories laughing when people ask me if I have a valentine.

For those unwashed masses who don't know, St. Valentine was a priest who practiced during the 3rd century. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. So Valentine's Day marriages, as schlocky as they are, make more sense than buying drug store chocolates in a box shaped like a heart. Over-sized teddy bears and shiny, foil balloons are an unnecessary commercialization of what could be a very beautiful holiday (granted people say that about Christmas, forgetting that it is, in fact, a completely commercial holiday, since Jesus was actually born sometime in March, and the committee that convened to decide on dates of important things for the Catholic Church, decided to move the birthday of their most important prophet to around the same time as the pagan celebration of Saturnalia, so that pagans who converted would feel some sense of familiarity with the new religion. Christmas is completely commercial, created to sell a religion).

However, it's fun to see the trappings of Valentine's Day all over the school. Girls hitting people in the face with their balloons ("accidentally" of course), eating their chocolates in class (not that they can share, of course), and cooing over the horrible cards their boyfriends got them ("Roses are red, violets are blue, this unoriginal, and so are you"). Wow, I really am bitter. I should probably either get a boyfriend, or give up on idea of love.

I do like the idea of looking at Valentine's Day as a celebration of love, rather than a bastardization of a simple holiday. We listened to Pablo Neruda poetry in creative writing the other day, and I was reminded why I love poetry. Poetry can make you feel things; it puts into words what you've felt but couldn't say. You are struck by the realization that you have felt what the poet is writing, but you didn't know it until now. Neruda's words flow and mesh and they connect into some of the most beautiful lines I've ever read. Except for John Keats, he's still my favorite.
"O BLUSH not so! O blush not so! 
Or I shall think you knowing; 
And if you smile the blushing while, 
Then maidenheads are going."
-"O Blush Not So" by John Keats 
I mean, you think, because of the flowery language it's going to be a sweet, beautiful poem, but if you read it, it clearly says, "gurl, it looks like you and I are on the same page. If you keep looking at me like that, you gon' get the D." Shakespeare also writes like this, and that's why I have no patience for people who say they don't like poetry. It's because you don't know what you're reading or how to find exciting poetry. But if we're looking for romance, John still delivers.
"Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art-- 
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night 
And watching, with eternal lids apart, 
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite, 
The moving waters at their priestlike task 
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, 
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask 
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors-- 
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable, 
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast 
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, 
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, 
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, 
And so live ever--or else swoon to death."
-"Bright Star" by John Keats 

Sure, one of his more famous poems, but let's break it down here. He's saying, basically, that he wishes he were a star, but not in the way that a star is removed, priest-like, and alone, forced to remain separated from the earth as one who takes a religious vow. Rather, he were a star in the way they are absolute and never-changing, so he could be a star, and exist forever on the bosom of the woman he loves, listening to her breathe (which is unnervingly beautiful. Wanting to listen to someone breathe sounds creepy, but actually comes off kind of sweet) and if he cannot be with her forever, he'd rather die. Like, damn, you go John Keats. You can be my bright star any day.

And now, to finish this post that had no direction and meandered everywhere, I will give you a small selection of my favorite valentines, thanks to the internet:

Pretty much my goal every Valentine's Day
And my all time favorite:
Look, she even kind of looks like me!
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
- Pablo Neruda, "Love Sonnet XVII"

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My Personal Writing Challenge

It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and that's really my fault. Well, obviously it's my fault, no one else runs this blog. But, I haven't been discplining myself the way I should be. Writing isn't something I should be doing as a past-time, or when I feel like I can be bothered. Like Stephen King said:
"There is a muse, but he’s not going to come fluttering down into your writing room and scatter creative-fairy-dust all over your typewriter or computer station. He lives in the ground. He’s a basement guy. You have to descend to his level, and once you get down there you have to furnish an apartment for him to live in. You have to do all the grunt labor, in other words, while the muse sits and smokes cigars and admires his bowling trophies and pretends to ignore you. Do you think this is far? I think it’s fair. He may not be much to look at, that muse-guy, and he may not be much of a conversationalist (what I get out of mine is mostly surly grunts, unless he is on duty), but he’s got the inspiration. It’s right that you should do all the work and burn all the midnight oil, because the guy with the cigar and the little wings has got a bag of magic. There’s stuff in there that can change your life."
 
He goes on to say that the muse doesn't just come at your beck and call. You have to write everyday, at the same time everyday, and then when the muse knows that you'll be there, he'll show up to use some of that magic dust on you, and you'll write well.

 My creative writing teacher also told the class about a girl who challenged herself to post on her blog once a day for a hundred days. Well, I don't know about a hundred days, I don't even know if I want a time limit/expectation, but I do know that I really need to start writing again. I can't, for the life of me, get anything together. My notebook is filled with stories that I wasnt to finish, but I can't (I am already 11 pages into a long Sterek AU, but I can't finish it. I just got so overwhelmed by its scope, that I sort of shut down). Stories that are two paragraphs from being done, but I haven't published (I'm looking at you, Phlochte fic). And I have so many story ideas bouncing around my head that I can't even keep track of them (I'll write them down here and begin working on them, one at a time).

So if you, my followers, will bear with me here, I would like to write to you, about anything, once a day at least. It could be my life (school is winding down, but still as ludicrous as ever. Also, graduation is coming up and senior year is extra stupid) or some fiction writing (I just need to write stuff down). I'm not sure.

So this is going to be a pot-luck writing challenge. And if you have anything you want me to write about, always feel free to leave a comment and I can probably do something with it.